I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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