there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
