Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
