Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
