just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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