what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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