theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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