Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
