Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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