I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
