Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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