Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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