Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
