no, he came in my armpit
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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