So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
