Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
