Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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