the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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