We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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