is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
