So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I supernannyed him into submission
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
