We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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