I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
