Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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