My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
