How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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