He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
