If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
