Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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