that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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