okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
