No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
