I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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