cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
