shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
