I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
