We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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