I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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