hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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