Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
