We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
