I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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