How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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