i jhust puked up my retainher.
I cockslap morals
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
