i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
