Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I deserve this hangover.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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