can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
