At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I want to walk on stilts...naked
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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