My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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