I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
