3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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